Finding Rainbows and Stars - A personal journey (Doreen Lobo)

At the urging of Adrian (husband), I wrote my story, recently published in GoanConnection, a quarterly newsletter of the Goan Association of New Jersey, Inc. of which we are members. 

My story, primarily for an audience of women (men can benefit too) – please do take care of your health. Do not be like the proverbial ostrich who buries its head in the sand! As I reflected on this journey, submerged in a flood of emotions, it was difficult putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard!).
A lot to be grateful for, as we celebrate our American Thanksgiving on 27 November. So here I am …. Read on....

Coincidentally, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in October, designated internationally as breast cancer awareness month. 15 October 2025 marked the one-year anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis. Grand daughters Ava and Mia, daughters Kathryn and Rachael, son-in-law Andrea and husband Adrian, surprised me on this celebratory occasion with a wonderful video - clips from close family and some friends who steadfastly accompanied me on this distressing journey. The video was poignant and uplifting to watch yet astonishing to hear what they had to say about me. Are they talking about someone else crossed my mind several times!

As I reflect, the phone call of 15 October 2024 was a bolt from the blues especially after a routine annual mammogram/ultra sound without any untoward signs or symptoms. I felt slightly detached taking that call – as if I were hearing this devastating news about someone else – disbelief, uncertainty, and fear were my initial emotions. However, these were soon overpowered by faith that God had a plan for me, and He would give me all the courage and fortitude I needed.

Being a Connecticut resident for just a few months, and without a large local network of friends, where do we begin? In those early days, time stood still. Our older daughter, Rachael, pregnant at the time, took charge. She checked out doctors in the area, got recommendations and identified an excellent breast surgeon.  Our younger daughter, Kathryn who lives in New Jersey provided technical support transcribing hours of medical consultations. She came up regularly from NJ, especially at critical times and joined the bell-ringing celebration organized by the medical team after my last chemo session. Family, relatives and a large circle of friends and well-wishers from around the world rallied in support, offering comfort and hope, whilst my mind struggled to make sense of a new reality that demanded strength, patience, and courage in equal measures.  My faith never wavered.

After numerous phone calls, appointments and tests, a lumpectomy was scheduled. We prayed fervently that the results would not warrant more surgery. However, occasionally, things are not as straightforward as we would hope. I am deeply indebted to the wisdom, sustained encouragement, support and guidance of Dr. Deline Da Costa. She urged me to get a second opinion as she astutely observed that something did not add up on the pathology results. That critical piece of advice led to New York's Memorial Sloan Kettering diagnosing a rare carcinoma with a different treatment protocol. God certainly put an angel on my path. Thank you Deline. Some months later, my surgeon requested permission to publish my case in a medical journal. I readily agreed recognizing that this could help others in the future.

Treatment marked the beginning of an intense and deeply personal journey. I thank God that I was amongst the fortunate to have experienced minimal and manageable side effects. Coping with discomfort, fatigue, and hospital visits for chemo and later radiation, I found unexpected resilience through the on-going support of my family. My two adorable grand-daughters were a bonus, offering the diversion I so desperately needed. The medical team was exceptional and fellow patients offered quiet solidarity – a reminder that I was not alone.

As treatment progressed, life began to redefine itself around healing and hope. Priorities shifted … nuggets of joy were strewn my way — delicious meals prepared by Adrian, lovingly knitted prayer shawls were gifted to me, walks in the park, innumerable phone calls, text messages, uplifting and thoughtful cards — all took on a new meaning. I was so consumed by gratitude, courage and strength but also felt that I did not warrant all this attention. I am blessed to have had so many prayer warriors from the New Jersey Goan Association Prayer Group, St. Joseph Church (Brookfield, CT), our former Parish Community of St. Helen (Westfield, NJ) and of course family, relatives and friends near and across the oceans. This band of well-wishers were the rainbows that followed my storms and the stars that guided me through darkness.

Many describe emerging from treatment as not just survival but transformation. This journey has further reinforced my faith, given me a deeper appreciation that life is fragile, an awareness of inner fortitude, and an unshakable bond with all who stood by me through this bewildering ride.

On a final note, I urge all women even seniors to continue with annual mammograms. It is unequivocally vital. I connected with several survivors who have walked this rocky path and found our conversations very beneficial. If you or someone you know wish to connect, please do so at dlblobo@yahoo.com

To my Rainbows and Stars, thank you does sound trite but I mean it from the depths of my heart and God Bless you.