Advantages of a UNICEF training : Ken Gibbs

ACRONYMS+ GALORE

 

As with almost anything related to UNICEF, an essential is an understanding of the acronyms (and other terms) used.  Thus, to be able to understand what follows, the reader will need to know:

BBC = British Broadcasting Company nearest equivalent to ‘Truth Social’

DB5 = David Brown 5, a model of the elegant Aston Martin stable of sports cars

DVLA = Driver and Vehicle Licensing Authority, a branch of British bureaucracy

HMRC = His Majesty’s Revenue and Customs, another branch of British bureaucracy, dealing with the UK’s (bleep !) tax man

Ed Sheeran = Well known British singer, song-writer and musician

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Today, 4th August, 2026, I read on the BBC News website, that Ed Sheeran has been accused by DVLA of failing to insure his Aston Martin DB5 which has been off-road since 2021.  All this time, it was held in the restoration workshop as part of the work was to convert it to an electric vehicle, so presumably it didn’t even have an engine to be able to reach a public road, let alone operate on one.

It’s what follows about the legal proceedings, reported thus: “Sheeran was prosecuted by the DVLA in a behind closed doors hearing. . . . .”  The car could not have reached a road, and even if it had, it couldn’t have operated on it without an engine, and the DVLA has to prosecute behind closed doors ?  Really ?  Now, what was it that DVLA didn’t want us to know about the affair ?

I hope that Ed Sheeran’s legal team ensured that he was paid handsomely for signing an NDA (Non-Disclosure Agreement) which would cover much more than the fines which have been reported he had to pay.  Squalid ?  Certainly, but it was DVLA that took the initiative, wasn’t it ?  ‘Bleeping’ bureaucrats !

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Having to deal with HMRC – to whom I have to pay large sums of money twice a year (because I was so well paid by the United Nations ?), I thought that I’d ask my friend Rupert for his take on the Ed Sheeran/DVLA affair.  He – Rupert that is – owns a beautifully restored classic ‘tourer’ which he keeps well- polished and in road-worthy condition so that he and his wife can be seen twice a year, trundling along the A20 road at around 30 miles per hour.

In common with most residents of the United Kingdom who live south of Birmingham, he and I suffer heat-waves and a desiccated garden from the drought.

Rupert’s laconic response:

“All good here, Ken. Drought hit, the lawn looking like the Kolkata Maidan.”

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Dear Reader:  Why have I mentioned HMRC and not dealt with it so far ?  Simple.  About 20 years ago, HMRC informed me that I had not submitted my tax calculations on time and thus qualified for a penalty.  The curiosity of this was that I had, in fact, filed my data well before the deadline.  Naturally, I protested.  There was a lively exchange of messages until HMRC indicated that I should look on-line to see what penalty was being applied.  Enraged that they should be so off-hand over something in which they were clearly wrong, I went to the HMRC website and found that the penalty being levied was £0.00p.  No apologies for having been wrong, so I immediately wrote a cheque for £0.00p and had it sent by registered post so that I would have a signature that the letter had been received.  About 6 weeks later, my cheque was returned to me with no covering note.  It just arrived in an HMRC buff envelope.

 Oh, the joys of a UNICEF training that I was able to rub HMRC’s nose in it !  The only remaining question is to whom should I write about the DVLA ‘closed door hearing’ that wasn’t heard ?  Truth Social, maybe ?

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