STOP PRESS !
THE LAKE BROME DUCK AND DRAKE WEEKLY.
From our special correspondent in NY we learn that the United Nations Secretary General, Gutsy Tony, has issued a statement announcing the appointment of the new Executive Director for the UN Kids Agency, widely known as UNICEF. The new ED is Ed (yes, Ed!) Fragetit, another US citizen, but one who is thoroughly internationalized having bussed at the UN Delegates Dining room last September and personally meeting delegates from 126 countries.Ed has also travelled widely and visited four of the five NY boroughs so far with plans to complete the tour very soon after assuming the post. Ed is an accomplished linguist,having mastered the Queen's English, as well that of the Bronx, Brooklyn and even Manhattan and is about to complete course requirements for the Staten Island English. Ed has an extensive and rich educational background having acquired the A.Bc degree. from the Jackson Heights Academy with (comma loude) honors.
Ed's special skills include a wide and profound knowledge of children's issues having had a part in at least five Sesame Street episodes. On international development issues Ed has acquired a deep knowledge and multiple experiences as a senior clerk in the secretariat of the United Nations department of pubic affairs. Among Ed's other important attributes are a sensitivity to climate change issues, having been twice sun-burned at the beach on Coney Island as well as an intimate appreciation of inter-personal relationships and the importance of cultural matters in development, all this from having been a close buddy to an Inuit cab driver, an African American nurse as well as a latino shop-keeper next to his residence.
On the personal side Ed is an orphan, a foundling and is not married, nor has children, and therefore promises to have an open mind to all family-related issues. As an openly ascertained bisexual Ed epitomizes the best of both sexes and brings to the job a special and positive attitude to gender issues.
Ed will assume the ED post as soon as his present rental lease expires.
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Fouad
Labeled as satire but not impossible!
ReplyDeleteGood one, Fouad
ReplyDelete