I like to listen to podcasts. Sometimes while cooking, or gardening. Smartphones make it easier these days. I can multitask. Some podcasts are in the audio format. I like them. But some are videos––I especially like the one that's hosted by former American First Lady Michelle Obama and her brother, Craig Robinson, an athlete, a coach and a former entrepreneur. I like to watch them speak––audio isn't enough in this case.
Both siblings graduated from Princeton University. Mrs. Obama's post graduate degree was from Harvard Law School. They are highly qualified power-duo––academically and professionally.
In their "IMO podcast with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson", the siblings bring up multi-faceted social issues ––raising sons/boys, relationships, dating, women's issues, motherhood, the impact of social media on kids . . .
"Women . . . as we age, we get pushed out of the picture…" Mrs. Obama speaks about aging in one of the episodes––a common but unique experience that many of us are going through. "We apologize. . . we don't want to put our opinion on the table . . ." she further adds.
Their recent episode on friendship and loneliness caught my attention.
Friendship and loneliness become more meaningful concepts as we get older . . . we begin losing folks in our lives––friends, colleagues, family members, acquaintances . . .
Research indicates that older single men could be more susceptible to loneliness––they often are dependent on romantic partners for social and emotional connections. Loss of a spouse can create an abundance of isolation in their lives, possibly.
I am not trying to generalize but, in many instances, it has been found that men don't find it that easy to reach out or open up about their emotions with others. Women, on the other hand, prefer emotional connections, intimacy and sharing personal experiences. Many of us are consummate artists in sharing our personal history with complete strangers at the airport, railway platform, grocery stores . . . recently I helped a senior white woman–– I found her bewildered in the cosmetic section in CVS (drug store that sells other stuff as well).
"What are you looking for?" I inquired. From her body language I could see she needed assistance––couldn't overlook . . .
"I have a dinner invitation tonight. I want something good to use on my lashes . . . want to look nice." She was open to a complete stranger.
"I don't know what to pick," she unabashedly owned her ignorance.
I pointed out the mascara (Loreal brand) that I have used in the past.
"This is a good one. Easy to handle. I bought this often . . . before covid. Now don't use mascara so much . . ." We began talking about how Covid has changed our lives . . .
I suggested the right color-tone for her. I also gave her tips on how to avoid clumping the lashes. Believe me, I am no expert on make-up but I have some girl-street-knowledge to look presentable.
In 10 minutes, we built an incredible connection.
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
Societal expectations of masculinity––their upbringing as "males" also limits men from seeking help when lonely–– can be confining.
Moving from one place to another disrupts the community one builds. When I returned back to the US (after early retirement in 2015), my son was worried for me. He knew how I had built families around the globe––in every duty station I had been positioned in (and beyond). For weeks he tried to connect me with social groups––hiking groups, book clubs, etc., etc. I wasn't ready to join any. . .
I enjoyed my alone time––I started reading, listening to music, writing. I took long hikes in the trails around D.C. I loved discovering quaint stores and eateries in Georgetown in my long walks . . . I took an online course at the Open University, UK on creative writing . . .began my book writing projects . . . I kept connecting with friends, nieces, siblings, parents––face to face, phone calls, emails, texts, Viber, WhatsApp, Skype (almost obsolete now) . . . It was such a delight when my mom and dad started Skyping me (RIP). . .
In one of the IOM podcast episodes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus (legendary actor) joined as a guest. She addressed the issue of how moving can impact an older person––how people become afraid of making new friends. She shared her experiences of moving from her own community when she lost their home in the recent LA fires. Her parents moved as well into a new community . . . "Taking actions can open up doors" Julia stresses. Her mom joined a garden community.
I am glad I didn't join any community. I started my own garden. I am a happy gardener. My granddaughter Izara is my helper, sometimes . . .
(However, . . . I did join a writers' group. We used to meet once a month to critique our draft-writings––taking turns. I was the only brown woman in that group for a while. Later an African-American woman joined us).
IMO Podcast (you can watch it free on Youtube)
Both siblings graduated from Princeton University. Mrs. Obama's post graduate degree was from Harvard Law School. They are highly qualified power-duo––academically and professionally.
In their "IMO podcast with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson", the siblings bring up multi-faceted social issues ––raising sons/boys, relationships, dating, women's issues, motherhood, the impact of social media on kids . . .
"Women . . . as we age, we get pushed out of the picture…" Mrs. Obama speaks about aging in one of the episodes––a common but unique experience that many of us are going through. "We apologize. . . we don't want to put our opinion on the table . . ." she further adds.
Their recent episode on friendship and loneliness caught my attention.
Friendship and loneliness become more meaningful concepts as we get older . . . we begin losing folks in our lives––friends, colleagues, family members, acquaintances . . .
Research indicates that older single men could be more susceptible to loneliness––they often are dependent on romantic partners for social and emotional connections. Loss of a spouse can create an abundance of isolation in their lives, possibly.
I am not trying to generalize but, in many instances, it has been found that men don't find it that easy to reach out or open up about their emotions with others. Women, on the other hand, prefer emotional connections, intimacy and sharing personal experiences. Many of us are consummate artists in sharing our personal history with complete strangers at the airport, railway platform, grocery stores . . . recently I helped a senior white woman–– I found her bewildered in the cosmetic section in CVS (drug store that sells other stuff as well).
"What are you looking for?" I inquired. From her body language I could see she needed assistance––couldn't overlook . . .
"I have a dinner invitation tonight. I want something good to use on my lashes . . . want to look nice." She was open to a complete stranger.
"I don't know what to pick," she unabashedly owned her ignorance.
I pointed out the mascara (Loreal brand) that I have used in the past.
"This is a good one. Easy to handle. I bought this often . . . before covid. Now don't use mascara so much . . ." We began talking about how Covid has changed our lives . . .
I suggested the right color-tone for her. I also gave her tips on how to avoid clumping the lashes. Believe me, I am no expert on make-up but I have some girl-street-knowledge to look presentable.
In 10 minutes, we built an incredible connection.
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
Societal expectations of masculinity––their upbringing as "males" also limits men from seeking help when lonely–– can be confining.
Moving from one place to another disrupts the community one builds. When I returned back to the US (after early retirement in 2015), my son was worried for me. He knew how I had built families around the globe––in every duty station I had been positioned in (and beyond). For weeks he tried to connect me with social groups––hiking groups, book clubs, etc., etc. I wasn't ready to join any. . .
I enjoyed my alone time––I started reading, listening to music, writing. I took long hikes in the trails around D.C. I loved discovering quaint stores and eateries in Georgetown in my long walks . . . I took an online course at the Open University, UK on creative writing . . .began my book writing projects . . . I kept connecting with friends, nieces, siblings, parents––face to face, phone calls, emails, texts, Viber, WhatsApp, Skype (almost obsolete now) . . . It was such a delight when my mom and dad started Skyping me (RIP). . .
In one of the IOM podcast episodes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus (legendary actor) joined as a guest. She addressed the issue of how moving can impact an older person––how people become afraid of making new friends. She shared her experiences of moving from her own community when she lost their home in the recent LA fires. Her parents moved as well into a new community . . . "Taking actions can open up doors" Julia stresses. Her mom joined a garden community.
I am glad I didn't join any community. I started my own garden. I am a happy gardener. My granddaughter Izara is my helper, sometimes . . .
(However, . . . I did join a writers' group. We used to meet once a month to critique our draft-writings––taking turns. I was the only brown woman in that group for a while. Later an African-American woman joined us).
IMO Podcast (you can watch it free on Youtube)
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