Hope for Paula, the Cynic by Paula Claycomb

7 October 2024


I wish I could say that the depressive slump I have been experiencing for several months was a temporary mid-life crisis. But at 72, I cannot claim to be in mid-life, and I have not been on a good trajectory since 2020 for regaining equilibrium about the health of Planet Earth and all its denizens.

Aware of my natural tendency towards doom and gloom, I have worked hard all my life, including over two decades in UNICEF, to present a positive, optimistic face. But the past decade has been tough, beginning, I believe, with the appearance of Mr. Trump on the national and international scenes, where he has normalized lying; encouraged violence; denied the oil and gas industry’s role in climate change; and engaged in conspiracy theories, to name only a few of his many negative impacts.

A couple weeks ago, unable to come up with a “good news” essay for this XUNICEF newsletter about guns and other firearms in the US, I decided to take action to improve my outlook. I unsubscribed from 5 of the 22 climate-related networks I belonged to, keeping those that provide a section with solutions or at least some tips on positive actions being taken around the world. I bought a newly released book by Jamil Zaki, Hope for Cynics, and have been enjoying its realistic yet upbeat research. A friend gave me a small booklet with snippets of wisdom by Pema Chödrön, the 88-year-old American Buddhist nun, and I am savouring her mix of real challenges in life with how we choose to deal with them.

I cut back on the number of organizations I volunteer with, though increased my commitments to the Taos County Democratic Party.

In a rare moment of pure relaxation, I allowed myself the luxury of an afternoon with friends, ending with a double-scoop ice cream cone at the world famous Taos Cow... and lunch with other friends, including a colleague with whom I had worked in Mine Action ...

discussions of which brought me “down” again. It was not very smart to think about all the UXO and ERW in Gaza, the West Bank, Lebanon, Sudan and many other countries!

Then, along came Baquer Namazi’s lovely essay of 3 October. He described some of the many kindnesses that have been shown to him since his release from prison and arrival in the US. I was touched by his descriptions of ordinary people who generously provided everything from directions to unobstructed passage into a secure facility. Reading his examples of every day kindnesses and seeing his smiling face made me smile too.

In the same issue were Nuzhat’s sweet story about coffee addiction; Myra’s Mr. Iguana in the sun; Fouad’s Postcard from Cuba and Maple Leaf family; Gautam’s visit to Skopje; Kul’s note about the Jim Grant award; Luis’s Teddy Bear; and Ken’s funny yet serious story of skill sets. Thank you, Baquer and everyone.

They were sprinkled amidst the all-too-familiar stories of bombed villages, charity scams and vaccines for which UNICEF paid more than the US government did.

What I am learning from my concerted effort to deal with the barrage of bad and sad news, yet not put my hand in the sand as some of my friends and family members have done, will come as no surprise to any of you, I suppose. It is important not only to balance media reports with exercise or good books or time out with friends. I am finding it is also important to:

*Unplug from the mass media;
* Just read less news;
* Don’t be so obsessive about finding another reason to feel depressed;
* Play with our little dog who loves all her stuffed animals. Below is a photo of Tindy with a few of her favorites.

I would love to hear how you are coping during this unsettling period, without blocking out the important events we face.

Paula Claycomb

Taos, New Mexico