Babble from the Balkans (2) : Ken Gibbs

This represents another letter home from Tirana in late 1999, where I was paid by USAID while sitting in the UNICEF office in Tirana, under an agreement between UNICEF and USAID, to coordinate WES activities for the Kosovar refugees and, later, to address WES deficiencies in Albanian communities which had hosted Kosovars. It was a very steep learning curve:

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Friday evening: There are times when I want to scream. Then I wonder why I bother even to raise my blood pressure. I ask myself whether my 'passion' will make any difference to anyone and then, realising that it probably won't, I go off and take a beer. But while drinking the beer, I brood. How can people who nominally claim to represent the 'best interests of children' appear only to act in their own best interests ? When will the world tumble to it and expose them ?

UNICEF seems determined to fulfil its obligations to children by becoming an emergency agency. I think this has been a move in an attempt to increase funding rather than for any altruistic reason related to kids. After all, UNHCR is the lead emergency agency and not just for refugees, I believe.

Now the latest emergency buzz-word has just arrived from New York. I was asked to fill in a questionnaire about the WES - CCCs. Wonderful. Water, Environment and Sanitation Core Corporate Commitments. In English, the things that UNICEF does as an agency, central to its operation, in WES. And here's what they are:

1. To find out where bleach, water containers, nappies + tampax or equivalent and spades are available locally, and how much they cost, for an emergency. Not to buy any, not to sign any contracts, just to know, forgetting that these things have a habit of sky-rocketing in price during an emergency;

2. To develop the sort of public information messages one needs for any anticipated emergency; to put them together and field test them; then produce and laminate them in plastic (so they don't go soggy in a flood) in numbers possibly needed for the first two weeks of an emergency (this is actually an excellent idea, I think); and

3. Then hope that there will be an immediately available, flexible budget to buy the items listed in 1) above. Here, they were shy and avoided being specific in the WES - CCC document.

These are to be core to UNICEF activities ? I was a good boy. I answered. Then I was asked to make any observations that might be relevant. OK, so I did, but this might have been a mistake.

A. How much money ? The document was silent on this and useful to know, I thought;

B. How to over-ride the computer accounting system during an emergency because if we don't, UNICEF just freezes and there will be no bleach, water containers, nappies or spades;

C. What about stockpiling some wind-up radios; and

D. Why plan by sector ? What happened to health ? And how will the budget be split between WES and health ?

The comments have to go out via the 'boss'. My question about over-riding the computer accounting systems is deleted. I point out that UNICEF has never had a single year when the systems have functioned properly throughout the year, since 1985 when they were first introduced. Also that we have just come through a five week period here in Albania when local staff were not paid - because the computer wouldn't allow it. And computers have this nasty habit of malfunctioning just when they are needed most - like in an emergency.

The comment stays out.

It is really quite touching this faith they have in machines - perhaps that's a commentary on their lack of faith in their own staff. I wish I could share their enthusiasm; but I am pleased that I sometimes think that some staff are actually contributors.

So, in an emergency, if you want bleach and spades, go to an NGO, not UNICEF.

New Subject: For some weeks I have been suggesting - ever so politely - that since I occupy a space where there are a couple of desks and the main computer, and since it has not been swept since my arrival (yes, in June !), the main computer might be very happy if it doesn't have to breathe in so much dust. Yesterday, it worked. The Operations Officer came up the stairs and saw it and then went ballistic. I must invite him up the stairs once per week from now on.

Saturday morning: Today the sun is shining and I am going to set the HASH with the UNICEF staff member who trained as an opera singer, and a lady from the Swiss Embassy. (For those not familiar with the HASH, hold yourselves in patience since I am planning on writing a short piece about it). The opera singer is the one whom I am teaching the words and melody for that slightly risqué song about visiting The Wild West Show. By the time we get back from placing flour dots laced with pepper on the route for this afternoon we should be able to produce a passable duet. The pepper is included to discourage the local sheep from simply eating the flour we put down as dots on the path. . . . .

Doruntina (the Albanian legend that is the barter for my teaching her about the Wild West Show) has almost appeared out of the mists of time but there may be too many dreadful puns in it still in my rendition. It probably needs filtering ("No, certainly", did I hear you say ?). Perhaps I'll be able to barter another legend for, "Show me the way to go home. . . ."

Later, Saturday: HASH set, me bloody. Lost my way not once but about three times. Once into the brambles, industrial strength, thorns included - hence the blood. Probably a good thing, given my high blood pressure from WES - CCCs. Had to beat off fierce dogs. Otherwise enjoyed ourselves immensely. It remains to be seen whether our weird sense of humour in sending runners straight up the mountain and then almost straight down again will be appreciated or not. I'll let you know how many points out of ten we hares are awarded - probably a negative score ! Excellent exercise whatever and the scenery stunning all the time. If only you could share it with me. . . .

E-mail inoperative for the very good reason that the landlord is, free-of-charge, rewiring the office and the server is switched off for the duration. If it comes on line again today, our tame computer freak is in the office and she will ensure that we have downloaded and uploaded in-coming and out-going messages. This message will NOT be amongst the out-going messages since I am sitting at home and I will only send it on Monday.

The HASH was fun but I am decidedly less sympathetic about children this evening. It seems that some of the local kids decided that these flour dots needed eradicating and took out about 400 metres of dots. If it isn’t the sheep, it’s the kids that take out the dots. The consequence - and it must have been hilarious for the kids, I have no doubt at all - is that you had a lot of foreigners wandering all over the hills, looking for little piles of flour that weren't there. View still wonderful, and weather lovely, so, what the hell ? Hares awarded 8/10.

The body count at the end was the same as when we started, and the runners had luckily been with one of the people who helped me set the HASH, so they eventually found the trail again - and seemed to enjoy the sense of humour of being taken all through the trees around the lake. I had walked with the last of the walkers and remembered the trail very well, so didn't get lost myself. Met a very interesting Norwegian woman who works for Save the Children who was forthcoming about one of the deficiencies of UNICEF in Albania. Confirms much of what I thought anyway. The thing that really got up her nose was when UNICEF staff ran to the border to be photographed giving out bits of paper (the mines-beware stuff) to returning Kosovars - the staff were dressed in UNICEF tee-shirts, with UNICEF baseball caps on heads, with a UNICEF vehicle in the background, which appeared in every newspaper over the next few days. And all the NGOs had provided everything that the refugees had needed over the previous three to four months, and they got no mention at all.

Perhaps it's time SCF did something about their publicity strategy ?

Sunday: Slept some ten hours last night and needed a morning sleep as well. It seems that running around the hills of Tirana twice in one day is not a suitable activity for one of slightly less than tender years. I'm still stiff, and won't agree to being a hare again for some considerable period, that's for sure. But I am still smiling about the environment and the view, however.

It had been suggested some time ago that if I wanted nice fresh bread, why not get it early in the morning as it comes out of the oven ? I was told where the shop was and visited today. The bread is even better than Lavu's (our cook when I was a young boy) ! I may even make a habit of it despite being so early when it is chilly.

Oh, yes ! Winter is creeping up on us ever so quietly. Quiet and cold. Even the dogs have noticed and are thinking that to be in a kennel with a dry blanket may be better than standing in the street and barking. The plane trees beside the Music Conservatoire which started shedding leaves about six weeks ago and then decided that it wasn't quite winter yet and stopped - even these trees are now almost completely bare. Two days ago, I took dinner inside for the first time since my arrival in June, and it seems that everyone else is following suit. I'll have to arrive early for dinner if I want a seat.

I'm avoiding switching on the heater, electing first to try long-Johns, but I wonder how long my Spartan attitude will last ? All these UNICEF, RED-R, MSF and HASH tee-shirts are coming in handy for warmth. It really is amazing, the change in temperature has been profound and sudden. I wonder if it is like this every year ?

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