Assault on Brown Willy: Ken Gibbs and Detlef Palm

Detlef Palm (DP): “Ever since I read Ken Gibbs’ tall tales in the XUNICEF News&Views, I was intrigued by the pile of rocks in the background of Ken’s portrait decorating his weekly columns. As he confessed to me, Ken did some sort of moonlighting as the Beast of Bodmin Moor – the fabled panther-like wild cat that caused occasional but unconfirmed reports of its sightings in the vast expanse of the moor.

Bodmin Moor (click on any picture to enlarge)

(DP): “Having retired into the vicinity of the perilous moorlands of the Ardennes Mountains, I grew more curious also about Bodmin Moor. Brown Willy is its highest point and that of Cornwall, rising to 16,536 inches above sea level. But it is not what you think. Its name originates either from Cornish Bronn Wennili (meaning hill of swallows) or from Cornish Bronn Ewhella (meaning highest hill)."

Brown Willy, from the distance

Arrangements were made, in 2022, to ascend Brown Willy, under the guidance and leadership of Ken Gibbs. Alas, it wasn’t to be. Ken, being a generation older than Detlef was only possessed of a wind-up SatNav, and was careless enough to let his wife Mary show positive for Covid on the day that the family Gibbs was to meet the family Palm. Instead, Ken suggested that Gabi and Detlef might like a short walk from Pentire to Port Isaac on the Cornish North Coast path, instead.

(DP) "Ken recommended to us what turned out to be a treacherously exposed path along the precipitous coastal cliffs. He apparently not only wanted to get rid of us a quickly as posssible, but also to minimize our chances to return to safety and show up at their doorstep ever again." 

About half way, between Lead Mine and Port Isaac

Port Isaac of Doc Martin fame

Ken Gibbs (KG): “Detlef and Gabi’s photo tour of the Coast Path to Port Isaac was made into a coffee table classic to show Mary and myself what we missed." 

(KG): "I’m not sure that Detlef and Gabi wanted to have anything to do with Brown Willy, but were rather attracted - like all German people are – to Cornwall by Rosamunde Pilcher (aka Jane Frazer). German Television turned hundreds of her/their novels into wildly popular romance films and hence caused a constant stream of German tourists visiting Cornwall. (see also: The Flight of the Emmets) Having become the victim of her own success, Rosamunde decided to flee to Scotland, which is as far as you can get away from Cornwall and the annual German invasion without going overseas.“ 

(DP): “The postponement of the ascent of Brown Willy in 2022 allowed more time for better preparations for 2023. Cornwall is notorious for its unreliable weather patterns, sudden storms, pounding rains and howling winds. After one year of meticulous planning, acquisition of the right gear and mental preparation, we were ready to go for it. We managed the vagaries of the 1000 kilometre road-trip, witnessing the Brexit-induced disintegration of the economy, and social life of the island state. In spite of the risks to men, women and machine, we made it safely to the remote hamlet of Rock.“

In Rock. Gabi, Ken and Mary

(DP): “On summit day, our early start was foiled by the locals; the inn was neither able to produce any breakfast before 9 am nor any time after."

(KG): “Detlef, being of a generation younger than me, may not be familiar with the Cornish vernacular. Thus, his claim of a missed breakfast may simply be a misunderstanding when the term “d’reckly” is involved which matches perfectly with the pace of life in the county, and which does not convey the same degree of urgency as some mid-Europeans expect. They probably meant that they were planning to provide breakfast to guests in the coming months or years.”

While Ken and Detlef were getting ready for their assault on Brown Willy, Gabi and Mary decided to forage for food in Padstow (which is across the Camel Estuary and can only be reached from Rock by some sort of dinghy picking up passengers from the sandy beach). 

Padstow

Mary in front of the policeman's house in Padstow

(KG): "We await reports of whether Padstow has recovered from their invasion of the village. It is said that the policeman’s house required a door to accommodate his tall hat which could only be removed when indoors.” 

(KG): "Before embarking on the assault, Detlef was told to watch for Golden Plovers (Pluvialis Apricaria) which are found on the Moor. They are speckled which gives the ideal camouflage as they nest on the ground where there is little cover. In late summer, they often fly in flocks with an erratic flight likely to confuse any hungry raptors, but on this visit we were too early for such a display."

Close-up of Cornish mooreland, with Golden Plover. If you don't see the Golden Plover, you get an idea about how well they camouflage.

(DP): “To reach Brown Willy, one first has to ascend Rough Tor, a mountain almost as tall as Brown Willy. From there, one must descend into the valley between the two. Irritatingly, Ken insists that the Cornish pronunciation of Rough Tor is something like /raʊtər/, which to German ears sounds like the device that lets you connect wirelessly to the internet."

Ken  strutting towards Rough Tor (/raʊtər/) , setting the pace

Near the top of Rough Tor (/raʊtər/)

View from Rough Tor (/raʊtər/)

(DP): "We allowed ourselves a short break on top of Rough Tor (/raʊtər/!) to admire from the distance the daunting heights of Brown Willy, before pushing on." 

Brown Willy seen from Rough Tor

Ken crossing a stile in style. A product of British ingenuity, a stile is a contraption designed for humans to pass through or over a fence.

(DP): "Eventually, we reached Brown Willy’s distinctive towering summit. In Cornish tradition and in honour of the Beast of Bodmin Moor, Ken deposited another pebble collected from the Cornish beaches.”

(KG):  “I remembered to bring the pebble but forgot the superglue to affix it on the top of the cairn. Readers should not be persuaded that those rocks on the top of the cairn are simply balanced thus because the winds are so fierce that they would be blown to the next county unless they were firmly bonded the one to the other."

(KG): "We were preceded at the peak by a couple who addressed us “me ‘ansomes” showing that the Cornish vernacular has struck again as neither of us could remotely be classified as handsome specimens. Perhaps Bodmin Moor has found a second beast?"

(DP): “I must disclose that Ken had offered a very attractive prize to those who endured the hardships in following him onto Brown Willy – a jar of his superior self-made Marmalade. The thought of the marmalade is what kept me going during those long arduous hours trudging over the Bodmin Moor!”

Ken's Kwality Konfexonry

On our return journey. Ken ordering Pizza

(KG): “The photograph which Detlef maintains was me ordering an Uber-Pizza, was nothing of the sort. I was on the phone to Mary telling her to ensure that only a jar of marmalade WITHOUT whisky was to be left out for Detlef and Gabi.”

(KG): "Moving on from Bodwin Moor to the Cornish Alps: German visitors have generally been disappointed in the Cornish Alps. If they had expected a Matterhorn lookalike, they were mistaken because these are nothing more nor less than waste from China clay exploitation in mid-Cornwall. I had hoped to suggest to Detlef that he might be able to scale them without crampons and await his reaction. He must be getting used to me as he didn’t even bother to respond."

It is apparent that UNICEF was fortunate that Detlef and Ken never managed to serve in the same duty station together during their respective careers, or total chaos would surely have resulted.

*****

Read more stories by Ken Gibbs

Read more stories by Detlef Palm