Look out kids, mom and dad are moving in / Multi-generational living vs. the nuclear family : Tom McDermott

This is a third in our series of articles which we hope will be of interest to the lives most of us in XUNICEF lead, including those of us who qualify as seniors. For our previous articles in this series click here.

As in many industrialized countries, recent economic and social changes in the US are forcing families to reconsider their living arrangements. Not too long ago the concept of the 'nuclear family' was the norm. Kids grew up, moved out, married, and lived their own lives, often far away from parents and other members of the family. The 'seniors' aged in suburban homes, until they needed to 'downsize' and eventually moved into 'senior-living' facilities where they could find easier living and care.

This 'nuclear' model of the family has been weakening for many years, but recent changes have accelerated with the pandemic, the high cost of living, and changes in the age pyramid. The older 'baby boomer' age group is large and generally more wealthy.  The younger generation is smaller and often poorer than their parents.  Both the younger and older generations face economic challenges - seniors in finding ways to pay for elder care and younger people in finding ways to pay for housing. 

Both younger and older generations face what is called 'an epidemic of loneliness'. This ‘epidemic’ used to be faced mostly by the elders; now, however, it is also faced by younger people, due to delayed partnership and marriage, divorce, and social distance.

Kids Move In - Soon after the pandemic began the US saw a sudden rise in the numbers of young adults moving in with their parents. This reflected, on the one hand, a desire to escape crowded offices and shut-down cities, and on the other hand the high cost of living. But equally important was that many younger adults have delayed partnership and/or marriage and so are finding themselves still single in their 30s. Others are 'newly singled' due to breakups and divorce. In both cases, a move back 'home' made sense while they waited out the pandemic and tried to reorganize their lives. What made this possible of course was the fact that ' work from anywhere' was now possible and even desirable for both employers and employees.

Parents Move In - Now, according to the article linked here, Parents Increasingly Move Back In with Their Kids, the US is seeing a reverse trend - parents moving in to live with their children. Again, the high cost of housing seems to be a major factor. Other factors seem to be equally important, in particular the need of parents to have a loved one nearby as they age and increasingly need help and care.

The interesting statistic is that the number of people in the US living in multi-generational homes has quadrupled since the 1970s - from 7% in 1971 to 18% in 2021. PEW and other survey organizations believe that the trend will steadily increase in coming years.

A second article linked here, Senior Housing that Seniors Actually Like, discusses the fact that with multi-generational families growing rapidly, many residents in suburban communities want to build 'granny flats' on their empty backyards, or add rooms to their houses and divide existing houses into separate units. These arrangements are often aimed at providing two or three generations in the land and house that previously belonged to the parents alone. In some cases families plan to switch when needed with the younger moving to the larger house while the elders 'downsize' to the smaller.

For many families this arrangement has advantages both ways - young couples have their parents nearby and able to help with caring for children and the elders have the help and security of their children nearby. Families working together to meet the high costs of living and enjoying the security and comfort of having loved ones nearby when help is needed.

Such arrangements are nothing new for much of the world where extended families have always managed to live close to each other.  In countries like the US, economic and social pressures may be leading families back to a multi-generational family life not common since before World War II.

The situation for many of us in XUNICEF differs in that many of us live in different countries or even different continents from where our children live and work. But for others of us family members are not so far away.  Some may be looking for ways to bring our families closer together.

Let us hear from you.. Do you already live with or close to your children? If they are far away, do you have plans or hopes to move closer or even share accommodation? How do you plan to meet your future needs for companionship and care in your elder years? What do your children want in future living arrangements?