A sardonic Senior might say. . .
As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but annoying everyone is a piece of cake.
I’m responsible for what I say, not what you understand.
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use it.
My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there's a new strain out there.
It’s not my age that bothers me; it’s the side effects.
I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m nowhere near the curb on trash day.
As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I'm sure of one thing: It will be misspelled and have no punctuation.
Me, sobbing: "I can't see you anymore. . . . I'm not going to let you hurt me again."
My Trainer: "It was one sit-up.”
As I’ve gotten older, people think I’ve become lazy. The truth is I’m just being more energy efficient.
I haven't gotten anything done today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.
Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then he made the earth round. . . and laughed and laughed and laughed.
I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.
I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.
My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen, and I have no clue where the music is coming from.
Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling.
Apparently RSVPing to a wedding invitation "Maybe next time" isn't the correct response.
She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found mute by now.
Sometimes the Universe puts you in the same situation again to see if you’re still a dumbass.
There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest
Mary, Ha!ha!
ReplyDeleteI wish to present a contrary view:
last week, my daughter-in-law sent me information about a new book written by Becca Levy, a Professor at Yale, titled "Breaking the Age Code: How Your Beliefs About Aging Determine How Long and Well You Live" which uses scientific research to explore the impact of negative age beliefs on memory, hearing loss and cardiovascular issues and dementia. Levy argues that positive beliefs about growing old can add upto seven years or more to one's age span. She found a powerful mind-body connection and concludes" when it comes to how we age, society is often the cause and biology the result." The book apparently offers hope for those discouraged by the effects of aging and outlines what individuals and society can do counter misconceptions about growing old.
I am yet to get the book but wish to add that you exemplify what Levy concludes.Sree