Tribute To My Dear Friend and Ex-Colleague Stan : Sam Frederick

I am writing this with a heavy heart because it is not something I have been used to. Parting forever cannot be sweet sorrow. I experienced this with the loss of the love of my life, my wife Joyce, in September 2015.

I met Stan when I first joined UNICEF in September 1983. I was a “rookie” in the UN system in general, and UNICEF in particular. I was recruited into UNICEF straight from my home country in Tanzania. I was filled with trepidation and a lot of anxiety. However, meeting Stan, one of only two existing Blacks in the office then, gave me much needed comfort and hope. To be brief, Stan gave me the unofficial in depth and invaluable orientation in the office ; the do’s and don'ts, the who is who and how to steer through the totally foreign working environment .

As I had traveled alone to join the office, settling down wasn’t easy. Stan introduced me to his lovely wife Maureen, and she became my anchor and reference point on the domestic front. When Joyce and the children arrived the bond of friendship grew. Maureen embraced Joyce as her younger sister and her boys Michael and Steve were a great support to my son Fred and daughter Liz. Maureen’s connection with the US Embassy School in Dhaka, through work, was an added advantage to our family.

Our friendship with Stan and family grew in leaps and bounds. Stan was an excellent Water Engineer and made a great contribution to the Bangladesh Country Office Water and Environmental Sanitation (WES) program. He covered the length and breadth of Bangladesh and through his dedicated and selfless service, the family can look back with pride at the achievements made by the WES team in saving thousands of lives of Bangladeshi women and children.

On the domestic front we remember Stan very fondly for introducing us to Jamaican culture and customs, in particular Music and Cuisine and their close friends!! Joyce and I got our induction into Reggae, Dancehall and Soca Music!! We loved it, embraced and introduced it to our friends and relatives back home. I will be remiss if I don’t mention about the great parties that Stan and Maureen hosted at their house in Banani , Dhaka . Stan loved music and was a great entertainer. You could never be bored in his company. What will remain unforgettable episodes were the end of the year parties at his house. Stan and Maureen literally opened their doors to all expatriates and Bangladeshi friends in Dhaka on the 31st of December each year. People would start partying in other places but would finally end up at Stan’s place and wine and boogie down till morning and enjoy Maureen’s hearty breakfasts.

Our 4 years in Dhaka Bangladesh were the best in my career in UNICEF, all thanks to wonderful and true friends like Stan and Maureen. As if God had planned it, Stan got transferred to UNICEF Supply Division (SD) in Copenhagen and I followed suit the following year. It was such a wonderful reunion especially being hosted by Stan and Maureen at their home during the initial days. Our friendship grew both at work and outside. Stan and Maureen introduced us to fun loving friends from the Caribbean who had settled in Denmark. It was a repeat of the good times we had in Dhaka and more entertaining discussions and rivalries over music, cricket and carnivals. Stan brought a lot of cheer and light in the otherwise cold and our office environment where smiles were seen only in the brief summer days. Happy hour was introduced every Friday and some fashion and dancing shows, thanks to Stan’s work with the Staff Association and Top management.

We parted ways as Stan was transferred to Luanda Angola and Maureen moved back to Kingston as Luanda was a non-family duty station. Stan made a courageous decision, left UNICEF and returned to Kingston. However, it wasn’t long before he was back in UNICEF.

I cannot end this without mentioning the memorable and epic event which brought us together in person. This was the celebration of my darling Joyce’s 60th birthday in Montego Bay. I planned it confidentially with the help of dear Maureen and my daughter Liz. We kept it under wraps until Joyce and were boarding a plane in Florida for Montego Bay. And to crown it all, Stan and Maureen gave Joyce a very pleasant surprise by joining us at our hotel in Montego Bay!! What a remarkable reunion it was! A gesture of true family friendship. We celebrated together in grand style at the hotel coupled with a road trip to Bob Marley’s Shrine in Stan’s Car.

That was the last time we were all together. In July 2015 I had to terminate my short-term contract with UNICEF in Amman Jordan to rush to Hyderabad after Joyce was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. Before I left Amman, we had offered Stan a temporary assignment in WES in Iraq. He didn’t make it due to the onset of the cruel and debilitating disease: Dementia. At the other end, suffered the cruelest and unfathomable loss of my darling Joyce to cancer in September.

Sorry I wasn’t brief, but I felt I had to tell this story, albeit in abridged form to honor and celebrate the life of a close ex colleague and truly wonderful family friend. Stan was a highly competent professional, calm, composed, polite and a generous person who enjoyed every minute of his life and brought so much cheer, fun and happiness to all around him .

One helluva kind of guy. I can just see him standing at his music deck with earphones, playing the latest reggae party mix , dancehall music and Soca in his new eternal home !

All of us are all the emptier as a result of losing him, but all the richer having known, loved, worked and lived with him.

Maureen, Michael and Steve, please find comfort in knowing that Stan is in a better place now.

Fare thee well my dear friend Stan. Till we meet again. Peace and Blessings.