The Art and Science of Living! By Nuzhat Shahzadi

Quite by accident I clicked on the Netflix series –– Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones. I was glued to it. My intention wasn't to learn the tricks to become a centenarian, I was rather checking the milestones of the Blue Zone residents against mine––how many of those I had followed unintentionally or by choice.

I brought this up with my son––an academic, a thinker––teaches at  Georgetown University:

"Do you know about the Blue Zones?" My "ignorant" mind was curious.

"Of Course! I work with Public Health, mom." He has a high-level of tolerance for my "unusual naivety."

I am sure many of the readers are more knowledgeable than I . . . Unlike me, perhaps more literate about the Blue Zones . . .

Blue Zones are places where it is believed that people live to be 100 and more. Five areas, spread over the world have been identified that claim to have centenarians. These are:

Okinawa: Japan
Ikaria: Greece
Loma Linda: California, USA
Nicoya Peninsula, Costa Rica
Sardinia: Italy

The Blue Zonians' secret to a long, good life are simple behaviors. They eat healthy––focused more on plant-based food than meat, they are mobile––walking is a part of every day activity to collect water, other chores, they spend a good amount of time gardening which gives them a purpose, entertainment and fresh produce that they consume, and they live in a community––residents like themselves who are friends. Overall, their lives are stress-free/have low stress, away from the modern buzz––noise, automobiles, media, computers, chemicals, fast food, preservatives, artificial food coloring. . . the list is five-miles-long . . .

Younger family members invest time with the elderly. Multi-generational homes are common. Love, respect and a sense of duty are reasons for keeping aging parents or grandparents close by. In Sardinia, it's shameful to keep one's aging parents in a nursing home.

Plant based food - Sardinia (Photo Credit: Netflix)

.. . . I really focused on aging and loneliness when we were stuck home with the Covid-19 lockdown era. I didn't feel old at all or lonely. I co-owned a "mother-daughter" kind of house with my son and his wife. (By choice we decided to live in a multi-generational home. In mid-2022 we moved to a bigger house with the same kind of set-up). And, we were bringing up Izara, my granddaughter who was 2 months old during the Covid reality.

My life was full––the joy of taking care of Izara with her parents, the fear of the stalking virus slowly closing in ––heartbreaking tragedies fogged our universe. Life became difficult. I couldn't break away from the thoughts of those who lived alone, especially the elderly, isolated by the vicious virus spiraling around us. Disease, death and uncertainties were delivered on our doorsteps in one gift-package . . .

On TV we watched the stories of loneliness, sorrow, desperation. Every day, for months and months . . . Loneliness kills faster. One of the key factors for well-being or a good life is community, people––friends and family while aging.

. . . On my walk, one day I bumped into Xiaoming, a Chinese-American retiree. She lived alone in the next lane. I can't say we were friends––we were neighborly-acquaintances sharing deep passions for gardening. It was pre-covid time. She showed interest in our house and I gave her a tour . . . we had coffee and snacks in my kitchen. Some days, we walked together. I could feel she cherished such companionship.

Initially, she was cautious, wasn't forthright about her life but gradually, began to trust me, somewhat––talked about how her defiant only daughter, Crystal had totally cut off Xiaoming from her life; her (Xiaoming) divorce. Her husband was a bi-racial native American (I think she wasn't absolutely truthful). He was an angry person.

"Chinese people are traditional. I tried to teach her our values . . . she rebelled. Her father was lenient. So, she turned against me . . ."

Xiaoming's story, her loneliness saddened me. She didn't have any friends or relatives. Her stories about her family varied. Living alone 24/7 had made her sort of paranoid. She was afraid of being stalked . . . had anxiety that Crystal and her boyfriend would take the house from her. She was fearful about her finances. I tried to counsel her gently . . . shared stories of women in difficult circumstances . . . to instill hope . . .

I avoided her on Mother's Day but on Thanksgiving and Christmas brought her home cooked food. That's the least I could do––couldn't take away her loneliness. During Covid we didn't meet but sometimes spoke on the phone. In 2020 and 2021, on Thanksgiving and Christmas I left food on her doorstep––rang the bell and exited hurriedly. Covid was raging!

We didn't meet anymore. Then we moved to a new place . . . once in a while I still give her a call to check if she is okay. She isn't––but she sounds happy when she hears my voice.

. . . We often talk about aging with dignity . . . independence––not so much about the mental health, soul-care of the elderly. I guess there is more to it . . .