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| Guardian Goose |
Imagine, if you will, a young Zimbabwean boy being schooled in ‘the bundu’ about events in ancient Rome. ‘Bundu’, by the way, means ‘bush’ in Zimbabwean vernacular, where the camel thorn tree produces arrow-straight and very sharp thorns often over six inches long, which were fearsome weapons for us children to wield in defence of our imaginary homes. Or to be used as replacement needles for the primitive gramophones we had – to play our favourite recording of ‘Pedro the sailor man’. If you’ve never heard of Pedro Serrano, it probably means that you never encountered the likes of our bush school.
Back to ancient Rome which – allegedly - had geese on lookout on the city walls, to alert sleepy guards about an impending attack because the geese slept lightly and would cackle if they heard any unfamiliar noises, waking the guards from their wine-induced stupor.
Now, why did I mention geese ? Ah, I know why – it was around Christmas time when UNICEF international staff were preparing for end of year parties which – in the western tradition – relied heavily on turkey meat; and I can’t stand turkey especially at the price one was expected to pay for a bird from the Duty-Free PX in Dhaka, Bangladesh. We thus decided to forego turkey in favour of goose.
*****
Actually, goose was as foreign to us as turkeys, but we needed to be creative, so it was decided that Barua, our cook, would be released from his culinary duties to purchase a goose from the local market in DIT 2, in Dhaka, Bangladesh. He hailed a passing rickshaw and set off to buy a goose. He accomplished his task very quickly – perhaps because the market traders were wanting to be rid of their noisy, smelly, oily produce as quickly as possible, and he was seen to arrive back in a rickshaw, clutching a highly indignant goose. He alighted and released his load into the care of Jahangir, our ‘mali’ (gardener) who had been advised what his role in this adventure was to be.
The goose had had its wings clipped and had been kept in captivity since hatching, so was accustomed to being led on a string which was tied around one of its legs. So there we had Jahangir leading the goose to where he was working in the garden where he continued his horticultural duties, assisted by goose which would consume any insect or snail or slug within pecking distance. Noise levels subsided to near normal.
Perhaps this is the place to note that geese and ducks have voracious appetites – and what they consume has, naturally, to pass through their digestive system and be ejected after processing. They are, not to put too fine a point to it, unbelievably messy and smelly animals, to add to the noise they produce. If you were ever planning on a farming career, it would be best without including geese, or for that matter, duck, in the mix.
*****
On the evening of the arrival of ‘goose’, it was placed in the garage from which it could not escape but which gave it a view of the moon and stars and sky. ‘Goose’ decided that it wasn’t happy with this situation and gave voice to its displeasure. We hardly slept that night.
Next morning, after a consultation with Barua and Jahangir, we were informed that the commotion was probably because ‘goose’ had been separated from its mate which led to Barua taking a rickshaw back to the market trader from whom he had purchased ‘goose’. Luckily, ‘goose’s’ mate had not been sold so it was immediately bought and arrived in Barua’s arms, in the rickshaw.
What a kerfuffle when goose and mate were reunited ! Surprisingly, the accumulated noise level of goose and mate was much quieter than when ‘goose’ had been alone. What a relief.
That afternoon, I saw a sight for sore eyes: Gardener Jahangir who had the two animals with him in the garden, was bullied by them to cool them down it was so hot. He used the hosepipe to spray them which they thoroughly enjoyed. Sadly, I don’t have any photos or they would surely have accompanied this article.
*****
Move on a week or two when it was time to start the preparations for Christmas dinner. Barua was instructed to ‘despatch’ the geese – but refused on the basis of being a Bhuddist for whom, all life was sacrosanct. The bearer was then asked the same question but deferred on the basis of his religion – Bhuddism, no less. Thus, Jahangir whom we knew was Muslim, was asked the same question. He flatly refused because the geese were his friends. Impasse.
Eventually, Barua was sent with geese to the market from whence they had come, for a butcher (Hallal or not) to do the deed; and the corpses returned to us for putting in the deep freeze. At least we could now sleep at night.
*****
The goose had had its wings clipped and had been kept in captivity since hatching, so was accustomed to being led on a string which was tied around one of its legs. So there we had Jahangir leading the goose to where he was working in the garden where he continued his horticultural duties, assisted by goose which would consume any insect or snail or slug within pecking distance. Noise levels subsided to near normal.
Perhaps this is the place to note that geese and ducks have voracious appetites – and what they consume has, naturally, to pass through their digestive system and be ejected after processing. They are, not to put too fine a point to it, unbelievably messy and smelly animals, to add to the noise they produce. If you were ever planning on a farming career, it would be best without including geese, or for that matter, duck, in the mix.
*****
On the evening of the arrival of ‘goose’, it was placed in the garage from which it could not escape but which gave it a view of the moon and stars and sky. ‘Goose’ decided that it wasn’t happy with this situation and gave voice to its displeasure. We hardly slept that night.
Next morning, after a consultation with Barua and Jahangir, we were informed that the commotion was probably because ‘goose’ had been separated from its mate which led to Barua taking a rickshaw back to the market trader from whom he had purchased ‘goose’. Luckily, ‘goose’s’ mate had not been sold so it was immediately bought and arrived in Barua’s arms, in the rickshaw.
What a kerfuffle when goose and mate were reunited ! Surprisingly, the accumulated noise level of goose and mate was much quieter than when ‘goose’ had been alone. What a relief.
That afternoon, I saw a sight for sore eyes: Gardener Jahangir who had the two animals with him in the garden, was bullied by them to cool them down it was so hot. He used the hosepipe to spray them which they thoroughly enjoyed. Sadly, I don’t have any photos or they would surely have accompanied this article.
*****
Move on a week or two when it was time to start the preparations for Christmas dinner. Barua was instructed to ‘despatch’ the geese – but refused on the basis of being a Bhuddist for whom, all life was sacrosanct. The bearer was then asked the same question but deferred on the basis of his religion – Bhuddism, no less. Thus, Jahangir whom we knew was Muslim, was asked the same question. He flatly refused because the geese were his friends. Impasse.
Eventually, Barua was sent with geese to the market from whence they had come, for a butcher (Hallal or not) to do the deed; and the corpses returned to us for putting in the deep freeze. At least we could now sleep at night.
*****
Move on to the feast itself, for which the preparations were now complete up to the point of presentation of one of the two geese, cooked and ready to carve. In line with family custom, we had invited someone who had no family with whom he could celebrate Christmas, to make up the numbers.
Each person, in turn, was asked what part of the goose they preferred until it got to our son who had remained silent throughout the meal till now. He was asked his preference which was answered by refusing to eat any of his friend, and he left to sulk alone, in his room.
Oh, the joys that are Christmas !
Each person, in turn, was asked what part of the goose they preferred until it got to our son who had remained silent throughout the meal till now. He was asked his preference which was answered by refusing to eat any of his friend, and he left to sulk alone, in his room.
Oh, the joys that are Christmas !
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